A Guide To Atlanta's Steve Milano

TABLE OF CONTENTS
Main page and Step One: Picking Fights
Step Two: Insulting People
Step Three: Playing the Victim
Step Four: Threatening People
Step Five: Bonus - How To Dodge
BONUS MATERIAL: Fan art, websites, quotes & more!

Step Two: How to insult someone in the manner of Steve Milano.


This is a crucial factor in becoming Steve Milano. He has, as we will show, a very finite number of stock insults, which he recycles ad infinitum against anyone with whom he gets into a row. To emulate Steve Milano, you must study these methods and cultivate them.

Steve Milano has four basic insults that he uses, over and over, year after year. Here's the rundown.

  • Accuse them of being gay, or having a crush on you. If you interact with someone, and they respond in a way you perceive to be unflattering, this must not be interpreted as a simple conversation, or even an argument. No, you must assert, constantly, that your opponent has a homosexual obsession with you.









  • Accuse them of being nerds or geeks, then insult them based on this "fact" you made up, using stereotypes of nerds to back yourself up. Anyone who knows more about technical matters than you is obviously a complete nerd who has absolutely no life outside of the computer. Assert this despite the fact that you, yourself, hang around on mailing lists and online forums. Witness Steve Milano's mastery of this insult (and, to prove I'm not making this up, check out the posts for yourself).






So remember, to be Steve Milano, you must, loudly and constantly, talk about your hatred of "nerds" and "geeks", whom you classify as "anyone who knows more than I do."

  • Assume that any perceived flaw in your opponent is a result of a bad childhood. It matters not that you have no evidence of this -- Steve Milano likes to invent this fact and throw it at people wherever he goes!




(Taken from here.)


Different argument, different day, same method:

(Found here.)

  • Insist that your opponent has no understanding of English, or the ability to think. Repeat this as often as you can! Steve Milano, as you will see, may not have the greatest grasp of English himself -- he frequently misspells words, mispunctuates things, leaves out words entirely, has a difficult time comprehending what is written to him, and so forth. But it doesn't stop good ol' Steve Milano from accusing everyone else around him of being ignorant savages.
Found here (anything without a > in front of it is Steve):


And from this site:


Many other examples to be found within those links! Search, people! To become Steve Milano, you must understand Steve Milano, and what better way to do this than by studying the actual words he wrote for the whole world to see?

Finally...
  • Attempt to psychoanalyze the person, and insist that you have some kind of power over them! This is an old favorite of Steve Milano, so whenever you're backed into a corner, you should challenge the opponent the same way Steve does: Claim your power over the person and tell them how much better you are than he or she!

This one was found here.


And this one, also classic Steve:



So, everyone, study these tactics and study them well. When you master the art of Steve Milano's four basic insults, you will be ready to...

CLICK HERE FOR STEP THREE!